seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
