I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
