i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize