I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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