I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
