this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
