You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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