We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
