Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
