your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
