They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
