Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
