So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
