Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
