we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
