so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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