do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
