Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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