I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It's blow job season.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i think my cat just said my name.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
