I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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