nut hugger
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Damn victory sex feels great
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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