We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I won't apologize to a one balled man
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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