idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
