Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
