Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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