Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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