We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
