I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
