I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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