pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
i out mim tonsoeep
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