i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
