this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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