I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
