Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
