They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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