return my video game
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
