you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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