Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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