no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
