Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
