she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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