Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
