I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
