And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
