Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The chlamydia really affected his face.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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