brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
