look no pants
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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