how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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