that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Someone stole a lamp last night.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
