What a fucking waste of an outfit
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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