I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
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