the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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