the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
