Already got asked if we're dating
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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