Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
