I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
