Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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