I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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